“Champions are made from something they have deep inside of them, a desire, a dream, a vision.”
- Muhammad Ali.
I have many female friends, pretty ones, ugly ones, hot ones, not-so ones. And every now and then we see them complain about their boyfriends being complete assholes (I, myself have been called that) or that their boyfriend isn’t a nice guy or that he has bad manners or whatever and because of that you are hurt and feel the need to plunge into a eons-long depression, effectly spoiling all your friends’ moods along the way. This happens to Asians a lot at least. Well call me blunt, but serves you right. So on behalf of the male population here, I am going to provide you with a cut-n-paste guide to getting to know your possible other half.
A simple test you can run is to get him to go have dinner at a proper restaurant. It is absolutely important for it to be at a proper restaurant because his behaviour in that restaurant will tell/signal you what kind of chap he is.
What follows is part-psychology and part-straightforward. When you dine with him, see what he orders. What you wouldn’t want is someone ordering 5 plates of red meat. That’s a big no no. More often than not, it suggests that he is quite temperamental, fiery, almost always angry.
Also look out for people who orders shellfish. People who order shellfish are usually the arse-wipe kind. The kind who pretend to be better, more knowledgeable than the other guys at the table. But actually, he is the biggest clown, worse than Gordon Brown or Donald Tsang, you will ever see. This is the kind I hate most, I would rather sit beside my own sick, than to have to spend an entire dinner with a guy that orders clams (clam chowder’s an exception) and mussel.
Your safe bet is with someone who orders chicken or seafood (in this case, fish and prawns) not only that, because chicken and fish portions are usually large enough, you can share!
Now guys like to pretend like they know a lot about food when in actual fact, they dont. They like to add a ton of pepper and salt and maybe cheese on their food to make themselves look like a food connoisseur working for the Michelin guide books or something. The fact of the matter is this, if you are at a good enough restaurant, the chances are is that the food is properly seasoned and all the food will be is no more than a pinch of salt and pepper. So if you are dinning with such a guy, let him pay the bill, politely let him escort you home and never ring him again.
If the guy did actually order shellfish, hope is not lost yet. There is a chance where he can actually redeem himself. Look carefully at the way he place the shells of the mussels or clams he’s consumed. Half the guys I know leave it on the table instead of on the plate. Immediately, that’s a sign that you should never look for him. What he is actually saying, by just chucking the shells on the table is “I don’t really care how troublesome it is for the person to clean this mess, fuck off, and maybe I will nail this chick soon”. Yes, that’s exactly what’s going through his mind right now.
Again, look at the way he places his utensils when he’s finished. Whether or not he knows how to is one thing. Given that most Asians do not, look at how he places them, is it in an orderly fashion or did he just chuck them there. Now imagine a guy, he is quite fat and his name is Bob. He’s just finished his meals and he lets out a burp. He throws his utensils on his place, lies down, foot on table. If your man just chucks his utensils, he’s basically Bob.